For the majority of my life, I have had a dysfunctional relationship with Christianity. I’ve walked with God some, lived in the World more, sinned a lot, been hurt by Christians, disliked church, loved the church; and through it all, I believed I was a Christian. Different denominations have beliefs about how one is saved into the Body of Christ, some even believe you can lose your salvation. These differences have given me doubts about whether I was truly heaven bound. On December 25th, 2017 that all changed; I know without a doubt that I surrendered to the Gospel of Jesus that day. This is my salvation story.
The Short Version
I have called myself a Christian for the majority of my life, but I never lived as a disciple and/or a follower of Christ. It was not until December 25, 2017, that my life was truly changed. Events occurred that caused me to challenge God. He accepted that challenge and every sin I had ever committed flashed before my eyes. I thought I was going to die. I knew at that moment I did not personally know Jesus. I got on my knees and thanked Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins. I asked him to forgive me for all the sins I had ever committed. I can not put into words or explain the sense of calm that came over me. For the first time in my life, I felt close to God. I wanted to pray every day, study the Bible, give willingly to others, and truly love my fellow man. God changed my heart that day. I know without a doubt that I am saved and will be with Jesus when I leave this world. Do you?
The Long Version
I can remember the first time my mother took my sister and me to church. I’m not sure what happened, but I could tell she was upset, and we did not go back. It was sometime later that we tried a different Methodist church. After visiting that church for a while, I went down front with my Dad, Mom, and sister and as a 5th grader, I was sprinkled with water for baptism into the Methodist church. I was told I was saved, but I did not feel any different. A few years later, I said the Prayer of Salvation during an FCA meeting in junior high. I felt a little different, had the urge a few times, to fall to my knees in prayer for some people but still disliked many. My day-to-day actions did not reflect Christ as I continued in that Methodist Church until I went off to college.
I went to college on a football scholarship and during those years, I called myself a Christian, went to church a few times, but I fully embraced the world. Opportunities for sin can be easily found anywhere if you are looking, but I found that as a college athlete, those opportunities were even easier to find. Unfortunately, I took full advantage of many of them. After graduation, I moved to Houston to live with a buddy I had played ball with in college. Together, we embraced a lot of the sins Houston had to offer. After some time in Houston, I believe God intervened in my life by sending me, my wonderful wife. She was without a doubt the answered prayers of my grandmother. My grandmother told my wife that she had been praying to God to send me a strong woman that followed Christ since the moment I left for college.
My wife grew up as a Baptist. We talked enough about salvation that in 2000 I got baptized by immersion in a Baptist Church. At the time, to be honest, I figured what would it hurt, I had already been sprinkled so getting dunked should make sure I made it to heaven in case one denomination was right and the other was wrong. Today, I believe that baptism should be by immersion, but is not dependent on one’s salvation.
I would like to say that this is the end of my story and I lived happily ever after following Christ; however, it is not. For the next 17 years, I took my wife and two children in and out of numerous churches as well as just plain avoiding church during most of that time. We changed churches for all kinds of reasons, but through the majority of it all, I was the one looking for something different and dragging my family down with me.
It was not until December 25, 2017, that my life was truly changed. As a parent, I had been arguing with my son over some of his life choices I thought were not in his best interest. During the argument, he popped off, “YOU TOO ARE A SINNER.” A few hours later, I was on the ladder going up to our attic. I’m not sure why but I looked up and said with some arrogance mind you, “GOD, if I’m such a sinner then show me”. Looking back now, I can only think that God laughed and said out loud for all of Heaven to hear, “Challenge Accepted”.
Every sin I had ever committed flashed before my eyes. I knew at that moment I did not personally know Jesus. It was more than I could handle. My knees buckled and I almost fell down the ladder. I thought I was having a heart attack. I made it down the ladder and to our bedroom where I called for my wife. I literally thought I was going to die as I lay on the bedroom floor. She looked at me and said you’re not having a heart attack you are having a panic attack. She held me and we talked for over an hour as I slowly calmed down. I got on my knees and thanked Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins. I asked him to forgive me for all the sins I had ever committed. I can not put into words or explain the sense of calm that came over me after the holy spirit entered me. For the first time in my life, I felt close to God. I want to pray every day, study the Bible, give willingly to others, and truly love my fellow man. God changed my heart that day or as my daughter says, “God broke daddy as he now cries”. I had not realized she had not seen me cry in her 17 years of life.
Honestly, just thinking about what Jesus did for me and you can now bring me to tears. If Jesus can forgive a sinner like me he can definitely forgive you. I pray that if you are living like I was living you will feel the shame and weight of all your sins and on that day turn to Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness and have oneness with him. When the Holy Spirit enters your heart you may not be able to explain the feeling to others, some people may think your crazy, but your life will be forever changed. I believe many are like I once was and call themselves Christian yet show no fruits and continue to walk in a sinful life embracing this world. That is why Jesus said in Matthew 7:23 “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!” You should ask yourself, Am I truly saved if I am not doing as Jesus commanded in Luke 9:23 “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
I wanted a cheap and easy way to heaven (an insurance policy as I have heard some say) while continuing to live in my own selfish and worldly life here on earth. I did not bother to consider that, Jesus only saves those who fully trust in Him as Savior (Acts 4:12) or as Paul says in Romans 2:21 “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” I believe the Holy Spirit entered me on December 25, 2017. Revelation 3:20 “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me.” Since that day, I went from calling myself a Christian to a Disciple and Follower of Christ. I know without a doubt that today I am saved and will one day be with Jesus. I still live in a sinful body and as such still fail daily, but it is not from a lack of trying my best to walk with Jesus each day. If you don’t know Jesus I would love to tell you all about him.